Soooooooooooo. I've been absent. I'm feeling a little sheepish about it.
I've been unorganized. I feel guilty.
I hadn't read anyone in over a month... possibly two. I've completely lost track.
After I had to give up my studio, and get a part time job... my own sadness over the whole thing put everything on hold. I wasn't logging into my emails at ALL, and I neglected to pause my PayPal buttons, so reading requests kept coming in.
Needless to say, I have a bit of catching up to do.
This Sunday, I went to market. I got dressed in some weather appropriate gypsy gear, put on some make up even... Got all my stuff together in the wee hours, all gathered into the car. Forgot a few things, and ended up making a trip back home 3 times. (I live about 6 blocks from the market.)
I set up my tent, my table, my chairs, made sure everything was in place... and then I had that moment where I thought "Can I even
do this?" I had left it, unresponsibly, for so long, and I had doubt.
My first client sat, and it went exceptionally well. When at market, I do 'fast' readings... $10, and no more than 15 minutes. Sometimes though, we need a bit of extra time, and if there's no line up waiting, then I just run with it. After the first client sat, I had not one hiccup.
And the readings at market are what gave me the bravery to sit and write this blog. I've put all of it off for so long, I feel like I don't know where to begin. (And my guides just chimed in, with that calm parental voice "You start at the beginning, Lori." )
At least I'm hearing them again. For some time after I had to part with my studio, all was quiet.
So, what's happening with me now:
I'm working a few days a week at a thrift store. I KNOW it's for a reason. The extra cash is paying off some bills, and I've got to meet a pile of really interesting and wonderful people. (including my bosses, who are a couple with 4 kids - they are really SO cool. Best bosses ever.) I get to touch all the vintagey things that come into the store, and not feel the need to take them all home. (which was a problem in the past - I LOVE thrift stores.) And, I'm not sure what my next step is, but I guess I had to get out of the studio in order for it to be able to manifest. Even though I understand on a intellectual level this thing, there's still some emotions holding on. When ever we drive by the space, I look longingly. I was so happy there. How do I emotionally let go of it? Something I guess I need to explore.
Anyway, it was really upsetting me that I hadn't been reading, felt I wasn't able to. It's the one thing I KNOW to be TRUE about myself, you know? The one thing that I did that was so much a part of me that I felt completely natural at it, and with it, and completely comfortable while doing my 'job.'
So, tomorrow I have a day off. There are a few things I need to do (mostly phone calls for appointments for my kiddos) but I guess, after I do that, I'll put on my earphones and start cleaning up the emails, and completeing all the readings that are waiting. (and see how many of them I'm going to need to refund, because they've waiting so long.)
I feel like I haven't fully expressed what I wanted to here.. but I've got a couple of pixies upstairs who are yelling at me for kisses, and I've lost my concentration.
Tomorrow is a new day.