Pivotal moments.

I have been in a pivotal life moment.

So, On Monday, I gave back the key to my little studio. I made dolls there, my sewing machine lived there with all of my crafty hoard, and I did my live readings there.

I had to give it up, quite frankly, because I couldn't pay the rent. I did well in February, but all the cash went to paying bills at the house. There was none to hold back for rent, and so I cleared out.

I was feeling heartbroken, sad, disappointed, angry.. ALL the things! I had to sell or give away most of what I had tucked away in there - material bits, crafty stuff, so much STUFF that I was working on, slowly but steadily. I did keep my sewing machine, some material, some patterns for clothing for myself and my pixies, my canvasses and paints, and a few other small crafty things. Much went to the various thrift stores in town. There will be some crafting mama's that are going to be VERY very happy.

As I write, there is still a load of things that needs to make it's way to my basement, or perhaps the walls. (there are a stack of my paintings on the kitchen floor right now that really REALLY shouldn't be there.) But once I got the last load home, I just quit. My brain shut off. I really was mostly trying to console myself from becoming hysterical and upset, by spending a lot of my day in hot baths, and mindlessly surfing. So, there is still so much to do.

I had tarot classes this week, and am doing them in the public library (because there are still a few weeks left.) I was extremely worried that they weren't going to work, as my spidey senses seemed to have shut off.

And I know why. It's because of this pivotal moment thing.

Almost always, I can confer with my guides about my own life path - something that I understand is quite hard for more psychics to do. I DO know however, that in THESE Big Life Moments where I have to make Big Life Decisions, everyone just GOES QUIET.

They're still there. I feel them and see them and can lament at them... why why why?? But, all I get is this LOOK from them. The "I'm remaining neutral, because you have to work this one out on your own" look.

I have readings that have been sitting in my email for about 10 days, because I'm getting THAT look from my Gabe.

Yesterday, I got a call from a girlfriend, looking for advice on doing her own tarot party (she reads, but I'm not sure how much for others, and she's still trying to become comfortable with her cards.) she asked my advice, how I handle things, and would I come to help read? The entire conversation ... well, I think I needed it.

I needed to be talking and thinking about this THING I do, and that she looked to me for guidance in it reassured me that, even though I DIDN'T see this stress coming for myself, and that my guides are letting me handle this with my own actions (Free Will!) , that I have the TOOLS needed... and that this has been feeling like a very very tricky test.

Is test the right word? I dunno.

So, there are some changes coming for me. The task is to be open to them, and accept that this change is coming for a REASON that will enrich and challenge my life in ways that CLEARLY I must be ready for.

I know that this, too, comes down to LOVE. I love helping, and I love using this skill to bring peace and answers, and I can't give up.

So, anyway, I'm not sure If I've tied all the ends up in this post, but I just wanted you all to know where the heck I've been, and why I've gone so quiet for a bit.

I'm developing a new routine for my readings, and once I get into the groove, all will be well. (Sometimes I'm SUCH a Taurus! lol.)

Blessings and love to you all,
Lori-Grace